dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
