these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
