there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
