my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
