Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
