He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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