if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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