i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
