whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
