I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
