Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
