Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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