No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
