you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
