Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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