She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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