I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
