the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
