Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Couch. On fire.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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