so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
