His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there's paper in my vomit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
