if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
