i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize