Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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