And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
