Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
