some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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