he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize