# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
