Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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