apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
