I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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