Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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