I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize