Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize