Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
