I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
