I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
bring money and cleavage
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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