Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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