Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
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