I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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