3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
