wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
