I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize