Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
