He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
