Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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