I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
send nudes
from the living room?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
