the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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