I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
