But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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