Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
