the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
