Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
