You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
