at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
