I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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