It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
