So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Even my vagina gasped.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
