we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
