she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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