Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
