We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
