Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
