Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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