oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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