I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize